Feminism through my eyes

a collection of thoughts from #thiswomancan 

When I was still in primary school, I found it to be something really strange or I suppose rare to see the 'ketua kelas' to be female instead, of male. But I was being fine most of the time, because we all believed she's the best to lead after all. It has been like that, the culture or the standard way that ketua kelas would be a boy, followed by the penolong ketua kelas to be a girl, at least in my circle of society. Up until to my highschool times, when it comes to Mesyuarat Agong Persatuan, the club teacher will typically first briefed us like this 

"so now it's the time to choose our club president, if possible, it should be a guy." 

 No one ever said anything, nor that anyone against it. Maybe I was being too shallow to ever seen it as an issue. In fact, we were all glad that the best guy is chosen to be the president, with some good qualifications he held, we believed he is capable and the best suitor for the position, because after all it's the martial art club we are talking about now.

So as long as the best is picked up, what else is the deal? Women can lead as much as men can....as long as it's the best suitor for the position among all. 

At home, Ma never said anything about who's gonna do this and do that, when it comes to life chores. Never did she asked Afiq to do the 'buang sampah' part, just because he's stronger as the son to pick up the loads than me the daughter. But well, I would just pass the task to him because I'm too lazy to go out. 

But I'll take care another part still, as the way to complement. I help Ma with cooking, instead. 

In education, Ma and Bah are fair enough. Never did they say I can't pursue engineering just because I am a girl. And Dibby being an engineer was all by his own choices and will, not because he is male. After all, I am now pursuing accounting all because I chose that path of education. All by myself and my will, to do that. Followed by that, it comes with everyone's support in the family.

For all of this treatment I got throughout my life, I can say I'm privileged enough. To not being oppressed against my gender, or because I am just a daughter. Nor that I am more needed in the kitchen, rather than helping Bah with his tools of hammer and nails. 

The same in relationship, I don't feel familiar with the double standard; guys should always text first. Guys should be the one who making plans on date. Girls cannot be too easy. I see those as a mess that eventually lessen my value as a human being. Anyone can do anything as their will. No one can judge. 

Venusians can also be as complicated as the martians. It's fine for boys to cry. It's okay for girls to plan dates. If everyone has the capacity to do things at their will, without the judgement of others, don't you think this world can be a better place? 

But I've seen enough as well. I acknowledged how at the times of Taliban era in Afghanistan women were being oppressed, just because they are women. They've been denied their privilege in education, their chance to enrol in nation politics and what not. In some parts of the world, this was a big issue and yet still is. But the issue gets improvised from time to time particularly in which context to be looked from. Millennials women are now more powerful and privileged (in terms of education, politic involvement etc) than the old times, that's how we know. But the struggle and dilemma they face throughout their days might still be the same. It's like an opportunity cost they need to bear in having to satisfy society's expectation of her being a good homemaker or in her pursuing their ultimate dream to achieve the best in their career. 

So that's how the initiative of women empowerment comes in, to make decision. How are we going to take an action in achieving 'equality'; which should be pondered more upon its definition. 

2 plus 2 is typically answered with 4. 

They say "two plus two is equal to four" 

Never had I heard "two plus two is the similar as four" 

Two plus two is in fact an equation. And four is the value we get thus, isn't similar. 

However, in another saying, "two plus two is equal to one plus three" 

Or (( 2 + 2 = 1 + 3 = 4 ))

Now you see what's similar, yes it's the value. 

And that's the real feminism and true idea of women empowerment, to reach equality over the same value. Of both men and women. 

And yet people, life has always been about choices. You can choose how you believe and act upon it. While mine is to believe I'm a woman and is strong enough to do my things independently by my own. However we complement, with men, women get better eventually. 

@ Projek Wanita Malaysia Summit 2017