First Missing Page

 Amongst the missing pages are the periods after Edinburgh days. Mama left in September 2018. Exactly twenty-five days after I came to Edinburgh. Since then, putting myself into words were no longer easy. 

I did not write the last time because of Mama.

But, I do tried in looking for an answer of course. Probably, life was different then. Narrating each days sometimes scare me. Like the post I made before I left to UK. I did not only write happy stories, I write all kinds. In there when I read again, I find my emotions, thoughts even worries I had during the time. Sometimes it was so vivid that reading it again and to know some have made into reality, was devastating. 

It is now 2023, years have passed.

I have finished my study in April 2019. Attended my graduation by myself. It was a special day, but I had a regret it was not joined by any of my family members. Not one. Afiq told months before that, that he would come but it all depends if he had enough money. I was so hopeful someone would come by, I took his intention to heart hoping he would make it. 

But I understand as well, it was not cheap.

Only weeks before the graduation, Afiq called again saying he probably couldn't come. Works came in between, and so I accepted that probably I would really be going by myself. And, that was okay I guess. 

I mean, it was just another day right. A celebration for my graduation that was formally set. The most important thing was the support system that have been by myself all along, all the congratulations that swarmed my message inbox, the prayers by those who really truly wanted the best for me and the silent good wishes some just did not speak upfront but they did pray I would succeed in things I do. 

To me, that was enough.

And Mama, the only person I wish could come and see me the last time. Her final hug that I would long for the rest of my life. I knew she'd be happy if she was there that day. 

Dibby came two months before, we travelled together along with Kak Una. It was the first time I had a long holiday after Mama left, and with my own family. 

I swallowed that as part of my story, my graduation story. 

That my Hari Jubah was both contented and lonely in the same time.

I was with H that day, we spent a lot of time during the month. Just so he was okay to accompany me during the graduation day. I did not know how, but he was there. 

I remember waking up that morning, steamed my Baju Kurung that Kak Una brought for me when she came, the Baju Kurung was picked and sent to tailor by Kak Bety. She took over Mama's job that time assuring me that I should wear a nice and new clothes to wear on the day. It was Thai Silk in grey, plain and simple. 

I wore it with Pearl necklace I picked from M&S.

And, a blue heels I bought from Next during sales. 

I wore Mama's ring, just to feel her presence that she was there with me on the day.

Called an Uber, and so I went with H. When I arrived, I saw a lot of graduates have come. I went straight to collect my robe. The person in charge assisted me in wearing.

I found the other friends after that, I saw Farz, Ayie, Sara, Wan D and Yana. 

H was nowhere to be found after that. 

We all went to the hall. And had our seats in a row. I sat beside Ayie, and the rest were either in the same or back row. There were some choirs orchestrated during the opening ceremony. 

I checked the goodie bag, and immediately look for my name in the The Scottish Newspapers, where they would list all graduates name of the year in there by tradition.

 I saw my name. 

Auni Najihah Mohd Yazid - MA (Hons) in Accounting and Business Finance

I did not know how I got here. But alhamdulillah it all came to an end. 

Or probably this was just the beginning. 

After we settled with the ceremony. I saw H waiting in the cafeteria. We had some after party celebration in the university's cafe. H came bring me flowers. That was so sweet of him, though I think he purchased it out of a nice gesture. Because after all, he wasn't that sweet and gentle guy.

We took some photos. Actually, a lot. 

Had lunch with Sara's family afterwards. And off we went back to Clermiston.

It was a good day. 

Day to remember. 

To more missing pages to be found. 

Louis Vuitton Pochette in Epi Leather Noir

 In my previous post, I did mention that I have ordered LV Speedy 25 from official Louis Vuitton website. It will be posted to the preferred boutique and I will come collect as it arrives later. 

I was so anxious thinking of the big money I spend. I could not sleep for days.

I was thinking what the money should have been spent on, probably into my ASB account, or maybe I could start off my first investment into stocks. I do not know. It does not sit right. 

Haha it's an adult money and I started to think like an adult now. Gosh I hate it. 

I questioned Adeen alot, like would it be worth it? I can always cancel the purchase you know. Have I truly deserved it now? And, I can wait too. I have been waiting for several years now, few more years would not hurt I guess. Can I buy when I have better mind? Better financial.

And, so I called my sales advisor and I told him to cancel the purchase. He was okay and immediately process my refund. 

I was relieved. Surprisingly. 

So yeah, I won't be coming to collect the bag as I have told in the previous post. 

In fact, I purchased the preloved one. Yes that is the plot twist also the core reason why I wanted to cancel the initial purchase so much. Because, I have been reading alot since my purchase. 

They said (alot) on how your first LV is so precious. We bought it for a number of reason and it would hold sentimental value, so you will not sell it in future. You will keep it like it was your first baby. 

And for that, it is not an investment bag, where you want to keep for years and sell it after sometimes to gain appreciation. 

It's something you would wear daily, something you want to wear in all occasions. You would abuse the bag because you are utilising its function to the maximum usage. You would be proud wearing because, well, it's your very first LV bag. You would cherish its existence like no other. 

And for that, the entry price could not be too expensive (if you have the thought of selling it in future) , one because the price margin after years would not be too high. Also, condition after an extensive wear would reduce the resell price later. 

I had a long thinking for this, and decided let's have the preloved ones. The good one. 

and so I settled with this hehe

It is an LV Pochette Accessoires in Epi Leather Noir

This bag was produced in 2012, so when I bought it now in 2023 it means that the bag has been 10 years in age. I am amazed how it still looks new and timeless.

I also figured out that it's a rare collection actually, as the bag has been discontinued by LV two to three years ago. So you will not find it anymore in any of LV outlets, unless they want to make re -edition. LV now however, still maintains its other Pochette collection like Felicie Pochette, Mini Pochette and Multi Pochette. 

Also what confides me and I did not think twice when purchasing this is after listening to this Youtube video: 

Why Epi Leather? 

Because, it is the most durable material from LV other than the Monogram and Damier canvas. Epi Leather was first founded in the 80s when LV fulfilled a custom order by an Indian Emperor during the time. Epi Leather is made from grained calf leather, and has been embossed with horizontal pattern. It is also a signature material from LV, you would know when you see one although it is not as famous as the two canvas prints.

I think it represents myself most, too. As the Epi Leather has the most silent LV logo on the bag. It is very silent and monotonous unless you come closely and then you would see the logo. 

Like some people say, 

"Where the monogram leather screams for attention, the Epi whispers"

Vogue Magazine in one of the many editions also wrote how Epi was underrated, super timeless and investing in one will never go out of style. 

To my first Louis Vuitton, to my second, third and numerous collection in the years to come. 

Hahaha.