first year of university; spent

So yesterday was the last day of my first year of undergraduates. It also means that one year has passed from the day I marked to be flying somewhere in Europe, for some reasons I did not; that I am here pursuing what I got to do all because I got to do what I got to do. Making it to local private university was never in my plan, settling down my study here in Malaysia was never in my plan, still; I am here. But surely that didn't upset me for so long, I got over it. I moved on. This is it. 

As much as I am being remembered to count every blessing, I must say I am blessed in the way I never have thought. Allah has indeed been so good to me, it just me; being this flawed me and screw things up every time. What did I do to deserve this good treat from Him. Ignore those material aspects, I am more delighted to address my gratitude to have both Bah and Ma, Dibby and all other sibs along with this process of me growing up. 

I had all the four papers done in two weeks, along that of one month of studying and revising. If I was to be in UK, that one month (like all other friends) would be spent either by travelling or just mesmerising the amazement of easter break. But nothing to regret, I was here enjoying my weekend visit seeing parents. What's better, though? 

Stop comparing, and embrace the way I have it here. That one thing I tell myself every time scrolling instagram feed while browsing through friends' legit hashtag #Ztravelogue. 

This one last month before final of the first year was to me, hell tiring. I got myself mad over those sleepless nights and endless dependency on coffee. And I had my phone gone half numb, due to my negligence. I couldn't communicate to anyone through text, but only call. So imagine the struggle when I am about to ask just one simple little thing and there is no other options but to call them instead? What. An. Effort. 

So here to the upcoming three months I'll be spending doing nothing. Well, I don't plan anything yet. Had to do internship in mind, but for some reasons I couldn't pursue it. But I'd like to earn some money, for fun. Still, no plan has been made just yet. Maybe later, when I get all everything unpacked and I'll start to do the thinking then; of how I'm gonna spend this long 3months break. 

this face you made after screwing up law paper; i mean it just me lah 

Happy holiday 🎉