This post will be labelled in #thoughts label. Thus, it should be noticed that it is subjected to my very own personal opinion. At least, to what I think. In all means, you may digress.
Love, has actually started ...
Growing up to twenty-one this year, I can simply say that todays's modern romance sucks. What I mean is that, the pattern and the brand new definition of companionship as in the context of love and relationship to us (the new generation) has really changed. See, it is hard even by just putting it into words.
At least to this day, having feelings, being ready to become vulnerable for someone, getting ready for commitment, or even entering a declared relationship are all bring to different entities. We made this so complicated, it looks like hell of stages. Thus, i can say the era of Romeo Juliet has long ago ended. Today's love can be really conditional to terms and situations. I'm indicating myself, too. No offense.
Well, the logic behind this (might be) because todays' us have been wiser and smarter by past experiences and future references. We made ourselves beware of any consequences we might be having thus, to put ourselves to the ultimate 'vulnerable-state' requires a deep thinking and such wide observation as well.
In the end, we chose to 'play safe'.
I like you. You like me. But not commitment be subjected to any. We made it simple. But well, simple sometimes can be complicated.
I could still remember, when I got accused of 'building my own man' for wanting a secure and established man, for choosing to not enter any relationships until I get myself ready. By ready, I mean equipped. By saying ready, I mean rich. I might be heard as materialistic woman by now. Well, I shall first define how rich can be become so abstract and semantics.
Of all the tricks and tips you might have heard, I guess I still hold to my firm belief that loving yourself is most crucial. You gotta just love yourself, and you will be fine. By loving yourself, you are opening up to more self-enrichment. And that's how you become firm and stronger for your very own self.
Acquire even more beneficial skills, for yourself. Polish yourself spiritually, for yourself. Understand your wants and needs, for yourself. Be nice, to yourself. Challenge yourself. Be an open book, for yourself.
And suprisingly, by loving yourself you'll be more connected to God as well. Because you know you are not self-made. You are you, because Allah has created such a perfect you. And then, I promise, it will be sufficient when you can put the most right thing at the most right place. For whatever comes to your heart after that, it will find the reasonable spot after that. You are sufficed, with the sufficient.
Taking Yasmin Mogahed's simple metaphor, it can be understood as we are all a car. And for every cars, there must be one most crucial tank to make it working and efficiently moving. In this car context, the fuel tank is the most center (the most important part). Of course, anything can applied to the fuel tank as long as it is halal. Anything. Similarly, that in love, you can be in love with anything. Your wealth. Your family. Your children. Your spouse. Your lover, of course. Also the same way anything included an apple juice or a honey solution (as long as it is, halal) it can be filled to the tank. However, it cannot be sufficient because it is well-reserved. You won't it is sufficient. It is reserved for something that is its. Imagine putting in the apple juice to the tank. Well, of course, the car won't move thus then will make it even worse. The car will be destroyed eventually. Same goes, to the heart. Same applied, to the self.
This is the thing about heart.
The tank is reserved to the one and only Allah; the almighty.
Even the orange juice won't do. Even any halal means won't do.
That's why, loving the most righteous is the first step of all. At least, it is the catalyst to have the last long relationship you will enter soon after you love the supposed means; The Essence of the Essence.
You, ignorant of the marrow, deceived by the skin,
Be aware. The Beloved is at the center of your soul.
The essence of the body is sensation
And the essence of the senses is the soul.
When you transcend body, senses, and soul, all is He. -Rumi.
I couldn't say (trust me, this will be effective) but as what I know, you gotta love what you gotta love first. If you have all everything in its place, there's no way you can't handle the upcoming hurdles in relationship. As to what all of us know, this is indeed a journey of ups and downs. It isn't all roses. Thus, a firm and well-equipped preparation is needed.
And before you enter marriage, ask yourself first why in the first you are getting married. And before any other else, ask yourself 'would you marry yourself, anyways?'.
Enter a relationship rich, not poor.
After you have done everything, just all everything that is needed.
Have tawakkul.
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