The best of me

Today is a new day, and we all know this is a new chance, a new story and possibly; a new you. Everyone has their own struggles either it's your studies, your love story or whatever you are up to now-- it's your own battles and fights. I have come to the point that I've becoming used to frustration and rejection. Sometimes, I just couldn't bear any more one. But this time, I just want to stop feeling. The endurance of pain should be stopped in whatever possible ways, just to let the solace and peace come within and eventually heals the broken part. I've seen their happiness and I can't stand that but to have the thought of I'm the most absolute loser among all. I'm started to downgrade myself. What can I do is to stop watching them but to start creating my own happiness. I'm afraid it's from other human being but from myself within. The inner side of me should be loved by the whole me; every pieces of me. I need as well give myself a chance to breathe and stop thinking about others. It's me now, it's my time for myself.

I might sound like an absolute loner, but know that I am not. I appreciate every seconds of my life treasuring what it feels like to do what we got to do. Ignoring how far another human beings have achieved, I shall just focusing on my needs and desires. That's all matters. My goals are waiting to be fulfilled and that's what I'm really going to do.

It's better to be rejected for thousands times rather than be with someone wrong. I'm not saying that I have been with wrong person, but I just know I wasn't in the full capacity happiness and I deserve so much more from myself specifically. This is not a sense of greed but simply the way I've taught myself to not giving in so easily. I just--- have nothing to lose now. The real deal now; is me.

My career and my dream are most of the times keeping me alive, I know where I am heading to and I definitely will go. It just few more steps now and I'm good to be there. Allah knows how much I've given and He definitely knows what I deserve; as for that I shall not be worry about His giving. Just how much He will give, I just want to be protected under His mercy. 

I'm tired of people, and I chose to be by my own till the time when 'the most lucky one' comes asking me to merge our journey becoming one. I don't know for how many days more I need to wait, but I know the day will come. The day when I'll finally say; 'this is the best I can get, I'm accepting'. 

Semoga Allah redha.