authentically as he is




"Talk to more people. Meet them around." 

"Don't get too comfort, be out. Meet others, speak more to people."- says everyone.



and then, I met a guy. (while this is not another episode of How I Met Your Father)

He isn't so far away from the comfort zone. He is the friend of a friend of a friend of a friend. But well, it is not just about him personally I must put a disclaimer first. He is the guy who made me throw bundle of questions and then left me, with even more questions to my life. 

What have you done in life, Auni? 

It's not just me I am quite sure, that he was a topic in our girls' conversation for days long. Not sure of others, but we were basically amazed that there is at least a guy like him. To be more specific, there is a human being exist in this techno world, doing fine and all sound; without distraction of social medias, those gadgets, never-ending dramas of others' lives. Yet, he is doing all fine.

Let me be more specific, he does not own any smarter phone than phone he held functionally enough to call and text people (which is fine), he does not subscribe to any data subscription (so no internet unless at places that offer Wifi), he uses bicycle to accommodate on daily basis (despite Edinburgh is a big city, he said to be cool with cycling) (he even went to Glasgow by bicycle, God knows it was 8 hours of cycling), he does not own any laptop or computer (which the reason is University has the facility for that) and just some other things which are to me very unusual and not many are capable to live that way.


yes, I am talking about how someone living their life. Because my point (from the bundle of questions I asked) was to know what is his passion- with an expectation the answer could be just the usual answer and likely could be some predicted answers from boys at his age. Likely I would expect that he can do gaming, or watching movies, or might be listening to musics. Or simply writing poetry. Or in most probable answer, he could at least playing football or interested in any sports. God, none of them were the answer.

In fact, he has been studying.


While it hasn't surprised anyone that he is an erudite among other students, hitting all As in every subject he takes. It amazes everyone how he put his priority straight and definite. Plus point on the fact that his past result from Alevel last two years was all As with stars for all three subjects (fact: A is hard worker, A star is simply gifted) and he had all three As with freaking stars. Can you imagine...


Despite all, I am amazed to how someone could actually make me revising of all I have done in life for all he has been doing and his answer to a question of "so really, what do you do in life?"

"Prioritising."- short but layered.



In fact, this guy I met has been living his life, not giving fucks for others but his lively set of priority. If I am allowed to hold jealousy of him, it is simply on how I wish to live life like how authentic life should be, minus all the distractions, the unnecessary need to putting an image for others because what only matters is you to yourself.

He made me realised that life is essentially made simple, the truest essence. But well, we put too much flavours, we lost. And to return to the state of basic, so very likely difficult and not easy: we got to 'detox'.

Life is sure interesting, to feel more and see more. But having all distractions especially from the need to impress, the image they expect you to put on and the standard built by society to have you believe it is 'the standard', life has been tiring since.

I must say I aspire to live authentically as life should be.

But I could not say life without distraction is life without social medias, or internet and what not. Everyone has their own set of priority while we all know ourselves better.

So maybe we can start with 'prioritising'.

Well, you got me.


at Princes St. Garden the other day




let go and let God



When I speak of Mama 
I would want to speak of her without tears
Though it's wound that never quite heal 
not even with time
For thoughts of her shall not be sad 
She once gave me comfort 
richness of life
all of that were happiness
and kindness
of one's life I should not disregard

When I speak of Mama
I would want to speak of her with proud
That she was the reason of today's strength
Her selfless prayers that worked magic
all my life, and all way the journey of us five
Those are all good stories of her good heart:
Thus, I want to speak of her without tears

When I speak of Mama
Shall I speak of her in the remembrance of God
who made her so perfect 
who now took her away
for Mama's next journey
I pray and shall always pray of her goodness
and safety
to the end of time
till then, my time. 

Today,
no words better 
than to let go
then let God. 

-ay



"Be sure we will test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives, but give glad tidings to those who are steadfast, who say when afflicted with calamity: 'To Allah we belong and to Him is our return.' They are those on who (descend) blessings from Allah and mercy and they are the once that receive guidance." 

(al-Baqarah: 155)



Al Fatihah